What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
