And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
