I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Randomize
