D3 body, D1 cock
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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