OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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