Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
