Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Randomize
