i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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