i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
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