You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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