Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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