If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
