I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I cut my penus on the lid.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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