How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
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