I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
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