I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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