and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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