Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
