You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity�
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
