if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
He felt like a one man threesome
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Randomize
