Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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