just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
