Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
