Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
