Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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