Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
