You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
