THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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