i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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