6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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