Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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