Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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