I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
