having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
