You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
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