guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
