As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
