Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
50% drunk capacity currently
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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