am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
