I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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