the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
