can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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