He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
