Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
