we have pet lesbian snakes
i will never coherently bang her
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
