I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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