My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
the liver wants what the liver wants
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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