i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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