she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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