you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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